bliss-sad's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- enabled My father relapsed again over the weekend. A bunch of really harsh things were said, a bunch of accusations thrown. Basically, things that I've ignored for a long time were brought to my attention. It's all so fucking sick. It's not that I am without love for my family, it's just that occasionally I forget just how fucked up the dynamics at play are. I flit back and forth between wanting to save everyone and wanting to flee. Realizing what love is supposed to be is an incredibly hard thing, because you are forced to reevaluate a lot of things. You look back at relationships and past memories that you once believed to be full of love, only to realize that they are, in fact, a byproduct of total and complete sickness. I am realizing how much of my character has been defined by my families addictions--by my desire to keep secrets and to protect those nearest to me from themselves. It's a pretty big pill to swallow. 11:53 a.m. - 02.20.14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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