bliss-sad's Diaryland Diary

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FIL is still here. Husbands FMLA is not approved yet. We can't have a conversation about it because it always seems to end in my husband spiraling into an anxiety attack. I don't know what we're waiting for. If I think about it too long, I'll get angry... (it's easier than being disappointed or hurt or discouraged.)


October 5-7, I'm taking a solo roadtrip to Madison, WI to get a tattoo. I never get to be alone anymore. There is always someone or something that I'm expected to pour my energy into and I'm really looking forward to a handful of moments that are only mine.


If FIL isn't moved to Florida by Thanksgiving, I'm contemplating moving myself into the property we bought for him. I have no desire or plans to leave my marriage, but I cannot fucking live like this anymore. I am trusting Devon when he says I can count on him to get this going, but I'm really starting to wonder. It's been 2 weeks that he's been off work, it's been almost 3 since we signed the lease.


I miss my old life. I miss the before times.

11:35 a.m. - 09.23.22

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