bliss-sad's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - It feels so wrong to complain about my silly little life when the grander scheme is on fucking fire. Bought a new car a week ago. Still don't have it. It's getting work done. I'm impatient. Every day I wake up more exhausted and more discouraged. I slept 8 or 9 hours last night and right now, I'm so tired I could cry. Nothing is happening with the FIL. What a surprise. My house looks like a tornado went through. I barely have the energy to shower lately, let alone do fuck all at home. I wish I could just, like, microdose death. I am so fucking unhappy. And it's up to me to fix all of this. It's so unfair. I would never ask him to do this for my parents. I understand being overwhelmed and not knowing where to start, but why does that excuse only work for him?! Why am I never allowed to tap out? Why is it always on me to fix everything? When is someone going to take something off of my shoulders? I am so tempted to move into the house we bought for his dad. Devon and FIL can have the house we're in now. I truly don't give a shit anymore. Plenty of married people live separately quite successfully. I tried to talk to Devon about just how unhappy I am and he was pretty much like, "same." And I feel for him, I really do, but could he just, like, keep it the fuck together for a godamn second? Because I am falling the fuck apart. And I don't think he realizes just how bad it is. 2:08 p.m. - 07.11.22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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