bliss-sad's Diaryland Diary

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lust

My sex drive is off the fucking chart lately.

I don't know if it's triggered by weight loss, coming out of a depressive episode, hormones, a change in schedules with my husband that's made me try to make all of our time quality time, a combination of all of those things or something else entirely.

I've always been incredibly attracted to my husband, but as he takes steps to better himself and secure our future, there has been this incredible shift in his character that is a huge and constant turn on. He carries a subtle confidence now that before would waiver. There's a fire inside of him that's been reignited and I'm like a goddamn moth drawn to the flame. I cannot get enough of him.

Night shift has a lot of small draw backs. For 2 weeks at a time, I don't have the pleasure of sharing a bed with him or spending time curled up on the couch in the evenings. I eat meals alone and stay busy (this isn't to meant to sound sad, because I'm basically my favorite person to hang out with outside of my husband.) I don't get to slap his ass when he walks by me on the couch or massage his inner thighs absentmindedly while we watch trash TV. The one amazing plus, however, is that when he works overnights on the weekends, he wakes me up in the morning when he gets home and we routinely have the most deliciously satisfying sex imaginable.

It's quite literally the best way I could possibly start the day, but it leaves me so hungry for more. Having to see him off to bed while I'm still in the afterglow with a warmed up engine is only allowable because I'm usually dehydrated and unable to walk. There's something different to those sessions--him being full of energy, almost ready to power down for the day while I'm nearly recharged. Waking up to feeling his weight in the bed, his skin against mine is my nirvana.

I am so happy that after a decade together, he's still the only man that I want.

People always joke about how when you get married, the sex stops. I've talked to single people who can't fathom how you could be satisfied with just one person for the rest of your life, and I just can't understand that perspective.

My experience has been that everything just gets better, and it certainly doesn't (or doesn't have to) stop. Devon and I know and understand each other more than we ever have before, and that is something that will continue to be more and more true the longer we stay together. We know each other's bodies as well as we know our own, we know how to romance each other, when to be tender, when to be aggressive. We know how to make one another feel loved and cherished and we know when it's okay to get nasty and degrading.

I'm counting the hours til my husband gets home and contemplating a sexy photo shoot.... Only 8 more hours...

9:16 p.m. - 06.01.19

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