bliss-sad's Diaryland Diary

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My husband's father had a stroke. My husband flew to be with him today.

I wasn't able to go with him. It feels like a failure. I was able to get him there, I'm able to make sure he has everything he needs while he is away, I'm able to hold down the house and the pets and our life, but it doesn't feel like it could possibly be enough.

I love being alone when its my choice. I have a great fucking time with me. I may have some serious self esteem issues, but I'm basically my favorite person in the world to hang out with. But this time isn't enjoyable.

Because I should be there, supporting the person I love the most. And instead I'm here, laying in bed for a couple hours already because well...what else is there to do?

8:47 p.m. - 10.01.18

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