bliss-sad's Diaryland Diary

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I took a six year break from drinking alcohol. In August, I began incorporating it into my life. I have all kinds of weird rules for myself to keep it in check, mainly by limiting myself to wine and cider.

My new routine is to get a little tipsy once a week and cry in the shower while listening to sad music or mindless podcasts. I told my therapist about it and he asked me if it helped--if it made life better or worse. It almost surprised me when I said it made me feel better, that it was a nice release and a good way to self soothe. It turns out, I have some manner of self control and some ability to break and recognize destructive patterns.

I am not who I was. I am constantly evolving and even though I may not ever be better, I will cope better.

6:42 p.m. - 02.25.18

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