bliss-sad's Diaryland Diary

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Life is weird, man. Being a person and existing in this world is hard. I don't get it. I don't understand how people get up and face each day without a pit of existential dread and horror in their stomach. It's shocking to me that there are people out there who don't think about killing themselves and/or dying every day. I can't believe that there are people out there who don't have a constant stream of panicked thoughts pouring out of their unconscious and taking all conscious, rational thoughts with them. I know my brain is broken and that measuring myself by nuerotypical standards is literally the worst thing I could do, but man... I still get sad that I won't just wake up one day and magically be sane and content and able to do all the things and have all the spoons. Some part of me is still waiting to get better.

7:29 p.m. - 01.09.18

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