bliss-sad's Diaryland Diary



Well, I landed a job as a caregiver and then burned that bridge. On the day I was slated to begin training, I was offered the opportunity to interview for an Administrative Assistant position at a local(ish) factory that, in addition to being internationally known, offers an amazing benefit package. I tried to reschedule training and was basically told to go fuck myself. (Actually, I was told that they were unable to accommodate my request and I was given the option of continuing on with training as scheduled or opting out of the position all together. I decided to opt out.)

I interviewed for the position and it went AMAZING. I thought for sure that I'd made the right decision. Despite my complete lack of confidence or belief in myself, I really thought I would get an offer.

Then I got the call: Rejected--the position had gone to an internal applicant. Rejected, but encouraged to apply for the 2nd shift position vacated by the individual who beat me out. (The job hasn't been posted yet, and I've been staring at their website & obsessively refreshing my browser waiting for a chance to apply ever since.)

I'm not sure if I'm optimistic about being told to apply for the 2nd shift job. I flit in and out of thinking, "Well, maybe they want me for that position and that's why they told me to apply" and "Thanks for placating me, asshole."

This situation may not have created such a sense of urgency a month ago, but I'm dangerously close to finishing my workload with at the Abstracting company I work my temp job for. In fact, I may be unemployed as soon as TODAY.

So, basically, I'm panicking.

I'm panicking and I feel like a failure.

I finally got things in our control, and I'm about to be unemployed.

I actually got a 2nd job, and I gave it away for a possibility....

I am such a fucking idiot.

10:29 a.m. - 04.28.15


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