bliss-sad's Diaryland Diary

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I'm so desperate to feel like I'm captain of my own ship again, but instead of adjusting my sails to catch the wind, I've been cursing the ocean.... It's ridiculous.

Today I put in an application to a grocery store a few blocks from where I work. After some more thinking, I've decided that I need to be in school part time instead of full time. With that being the case, I need to start bringing in some additional income immediately.

If that doesn't turn out, there are a few more options. There are tables to wait and burgers to fry and coffee to make. I really don't give a shit what I'm doing as long as it gets me toward my goal of finishing my degree and moving to the Pacific Northwest....

My brother talked to me recently about the possibility of buying our home in 2 to 3 years and it's sparked something big in my brain. If I can get my degree together and put some money aside, I would finally have the financial and professional means to be successful somewhere else. As much as I'd love to run away now--with nothing--I know that I have to stick it out. It would be beyond stupid of me to walk away from a state that offers a low cost education, resident tuition and a home that I own out-right.

I'm just so hopeful to be anywhere but here--physically and mentally.

11:22 a.m. - 01.09.15

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