bliss-sad's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I used to think tears were cathartic. Now, I just get mad at myself for crying... It feels like my face is leaking weakness. I watched the Devil Wears Prada last night, which I haven't done since working as an assistant. It's not as funny when it hits home. If only I had a fabulous office BFF to drop life-changing, career affirming advice on me. Yesterday was the worst day I've ever had on the clock. My mother, father and husband all agree that I need to quit, but when you have a crippling fear of failure and zero backbone, quitting is a difficult thing to do. Especially with my car not working. We just paid off a six hundred dollar mechanic bill and there will be another huge invoice coming soon.... Quitting in the midst of financial crisis seems irresponsible. When my boss yells at me, I revert to a twelve year old girl. I say things like, "Yes, sir" and "No, sir" and when he gets so out of control that spit lands on my cheek, I wait for him to walk away before I slather germ-x all over my face. I've also learned how to maintain a poker face for ten hours and how to sob uncontrollably while driving. Unfortunately, I'm still not very good at that thing people talk about called "setting boundaries". I wish I could just...not show up. I wish I could just drop my key in the mail and never come back. But I need one more paycheck. Isn't that always the case? 11:53 a.m. - 09.10.13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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