bliss-sad's Diaryland Diary

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relapse.

I fucking hate alcohol. I just hate that my family struggles so hard with addiction. I hate that I'm predisposed to overconsume and try to escape reality... I hate that alcoholism is so accepted within the family! I hate that he wears a mask of sobriety only for me to find him stumbling, slobbering, stupid drunk.

I'm so proud of myself for quitting. For me, not drinking means just that--completely abstaining from alcohol. It doesn't mean, "Well, it's the weekend, I'll have one," or "I can make yearly exceptions!"

I'm so upset with coddling him and enabling, but I don't know what else to do.... I'm definitely going back to Al-Anon. I don't have the tools to cope with this properly, and it's time I started trying to acquire them.

1:20 p.m. - 06.28.13

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