bliss-sad's Diaryland Diary


my derv!

As of yesterday, my Derv and I have been committed to each other for four years. I just love the holy fuck out of that guy; he still makes me all swoony and goofy and I just can't get enough of him. I've been told that it's silly to celebrate any other anniversaries since we're married now, but I think that's bullshit. It's hard to believe that four years ago he was my "online boyfriend"--a term that I was admittedly a little bit ashamed of at the time--and I hadn't even met him in person yet.

It wasn't until April of 2009 that I met him for real. I drove from Iowa to Michigan--across 3 states--to meet him. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my entire life (especially since this was around the time of the Craigslist killer, hahaha) We still laugh about how amazing and totally awkward it was. I think I actually introduced myself. Being about to touch him and kiss him and hold his hand and give him hugs and sleep next to the man that I'd been talking to and falling in love with for months was so surreal and incredible.

Being so physically removed from each other's lives for so long gave us a chance to dive into one another's brain. We got to know each other completely. Meeting him and seeing that he was real and exactly who he said he was made me sure that I wanted to be with him forever. When the time came to drive back home, I pretty much knew he was the one.

The second time we met, we packed all of his belongings into my dad's Ford Taurus and moved him to Iowa.

Our relationship has involved so many ridiculous leaps of faith. I bought a house for him. He gave up his entire life and moved to a state he'd never visited for me. When he moved in, we'd only spent something like a week in each other's presence. To be honest, it was pretty much a recipe for complete and utter disaster. We're both a little shocked that it worked so [nearly] effortlessly.

Before Devon, I'd never found someone that I was willing to fight for. No matter how brutal or stupid our arguments get, I always want to persevere. I always want to fix it, partially because I honestly believe that nothing can break us.

I have that grandiose notion that no two people before us have ever loved each other the way we do and no two ever will after. He's provides absolute balance to my personality and unconditional support to my craziness.

It's been such a magnificent experience so far; I can't wait for everything that happens next.

When I first saw his profile on a dating website back in 2008, I never would've guessed that I was looking at my soul mate and future husband. We've come so far, and we still have such a long journey ahead.

I can't wait to be like my parents--to have been with him longer than I was ever without him. To be Nichole-Married-Name longer than I was Nichole-Maiden-Name.

When I was training for this piece-of-shit job, I was talking to someone about our wedding. She asked how old I was and when I told her that I was 23, she made a comment about how I got married "so young". Rather than getting offended, I stopped for a second and I just kind of marveled. I was lucky enough to find Derv when I was 19 years old. Although I truly believe that fate would have brought us together eventually, I managed to find him early.

And I'll never stop being thankful for that.

2:03 p.m. - 01.21.13


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