bliss-sad's Diaryland Diary

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I've been on this downward spiral for a while now, and I'm just so tired of it. I'm tired of using coping skills and journaling and having to get up and fight every day.

It seems so ridiculous to me that other people don't have to put this much thought into their daily lives. They wake up, they go to work, they do all the things that normal, healthy people do and they don't have to think about any of it. I can't wrap my mind around the fact that there are people out there who don't have obsessive and intrusive thoughts about killing themselves; I am truly baffled by the fact that most people don't spend the majority of the day reassuring themselves by repeating, "Well, someday you'll be dead and it won't matter."

It's confusing to me that most people don't take reassurance in that thought.

I have no intention of hurting myself or ending my life, but I think about offing myself a minimum of ten times a day.

12:24 p.m. - 12.12.17

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