bliss-sad's Diaryland Diary

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I interviewed with my old company today; my current position has exacerbated my anxiety so much that it's starting to manifest itself physically. Every day I have palm sweats and stomach aches. I'm fighting an unwinnable, interdepartmental battle in terms of paperwork and I'm reaching my breaking point. I love the people so much, though. Leaving almost feels like a betrayal, but the benefits outweigh the costs. It means driving an additional 20 miles to work, but I'll have company contributing 401k and sick pay and vacation pay (instead of PTO) and a personal holiday and tuition assistance.

The tuition assistance is huge. Although I'm doing well financially, There's not much further I can advance in the accounting field without that degree and I don't want to be doing clerical work forever.

Devon was given a promotion and now he's a manager with his company. He's getting a substantial pay raise and his own office. Im so proud of how hard he's worked to get where he is; he started as a temp employee on the production floor and has worked his ass off to rise through the ranks.

I don't have that kind of patience. Plus, I don't know that sheer force of will and determination will open many more doors.

My old bosses greeted me with hugs. I think I'll get the job. Taking it is going to be hard, but I think it's what's best. When I started at my current job, I wanted to do it for at least two years... I came close, and if this doesn't pan out, I'll finish out the next six months.

It's weird to possibly be moving on to something old, but I am optimistic. For whatever reason, people seem to think that I'm a competent and decent human being. As long as i can keep that up, I should be fine.

4:15 p.m. - 09.19.17

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